i really hope you read this

this is gonna be a bit odd
but
at this point
i couldnt care much less.
this trapped
caged
bound feeling
is just the opposite
of how you feel right now.
this is blatant, by the way.
shame isnt something im afraid of anymore.
immature? yea that was it.
i almost giggled when that word came out.
almost.
the tears got in the way.
but if that was immature,
then
yes
immature, i am.
you'll probably call this immature
but
right now
i have no other way of expressing how i feel because
you dont wanna hear it.
so
now
you wont hear it.
you may not even read it
and that is ok.
im used to being ignored too.
that is what i mean by trapped, caged, and bound.
locked up in myself.
removed from all that i loved,
all that loved me
all i knew
all that knew me.
no way of holding hands
of sharing a simple laugh.
and that is terribly immature of me.
terribly. terribly ripped from a sense
of care
of ability
of worth.
maybe this will help me mature.
sounds about right.
and just my new life
mimics the old
no second chances
"dont fuck up" they say.
"dont you dare"
well
i didnt. and i still got steamed.
there's my faith
right there. in the
middle
set up for all who'd care to see
but turn your blind eye
put your commitment in your purse
and move on.
ill put mine on top of my faith
for all to see.